:: Edgeliving: Master Jim and slave marsha ::

:: Tuesday, June 07, 2005 ::

How in the World Did *This* Happen?

People email me on a fairly regular basis, asking questions about my Master/slave relationship with Master Jim. i’m happy to answer, because it gives me a chance to talk with others who are interested in living in these kinds of relationships and it helps me to remember that i’m not alone. (Unfortunately, because of the press of my service and schedule, i can’t always answer quickly, but people are nearly always wonderfully understanding about the time lag.)

One of the most frequent questions i get is some variation of this one: “Okay, let me see if I understand this. Master Jim is a gay leatherman. You’re a leatherdyke. He’s your Owner. You’re his slave. How in the world did *this* happen?”

Okay, i’ll try to answer that.

Let’s start at the very beginning – why do people in our leather/SM community do what they do? Why do they seek out leather/SM? If we listen to the greater leather/SM community, the most common answer we’ll hear is…. sex. Or sex and SM – which for many is essentially the same thing. (And i have no problem with that view.) There is a wide spread belief in our community that sex is at the heart of what we do and that it’s sex that mostly drives our interest in SM and Mastery/slavery. Even the pre-eminent organization for protecting the rights of our leather/SM community is based on this idea – after all, it is called the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF).

But if you start with the assumption that what we do is based first and foremost on sex, you’re going to have a great deal of difficulty understanding how my M/s relationship with Master Jim happened.

In order to understand, you’ve got to start with an entirely different set of assumptions. What i do with Master Jim is based on service and obedience. Not sex. Not gender. Not sexual orientation. Not SM. Not romantic love. Just service and obedience. i don’t need someone to be a particular gender or sexual orientation in order to obey them. And i don’t need to be romantically in love with someone in order to serve them.

But there are some things that i do need in order to be content in a Master/slave relationship. i need someone who is willing and able to take responsibility for all parts of my life, and someone who is fulfilled by taking on that tremendous responsibility. i need someone who is willing and able to control me. i need someone who wants to be served, and who is able to accept service from me and correct it when it falls short of what it should be. i need someone who wants to use that absolute control over me to help me develop as fully as possible into a slave whose whole focus is on obedience and service.

So back to the initial question -- how did *this* happen – how did Master Jim and i end up together in this relationship? Take another look at my list of needs. None of those needs depends on gender or sexual compatibility. The person who provides me with those things could be any combination of genders and sexual orientations.

It just so happens that in this life, the Divine chose to provide for my needs through a gay leatherman.

One day, i was somewhat frustrated with Master Jim. (i know, i know – not a very slave-like attitude.) i don’t even remember why i was so frustrated, but i do remember what i said to Him: “Sir, in my next life, i’m going to serve a butch woman!” He paused a moment, looked at me and smiled just a little. Then He said, “And what makes you think that butch woman won’t be me?”

After i got past the mental image of Master Jim as a butch (actually, it was kind of hot!), i realized He was really on to something. The things that make Him the right Master and Owner for me have nothing to do with His gender and sexual orientation. Once you truly get your head around that concept, it isn’t so difficult to figure out how a gay leatherman and a leatherdyke ended up as Master and slave.

The spirit that is Master Jim is the right counterpart for the spirit that is slave marsha.

And that’s the answer.

--slave marsha

:: 2:16 PM [+] ::
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