:: Edgeliving: Master Jim and slave marsha ::

:: Thursday, August 05, 2004 ::

When the Ceremony is Done

Some of you may have been wondering what happened at the ceremony at Thunder in the Mountains. Master Jim and i intended to write immediately after we returned, but life somehow got in the way. (Doesn’t it always?) So on behalf of Master Jim and myself, let me take a minute to bring those who are interested up to date.

The morning of the ceremony, Sunday, July 18, 2004, Master Jim and i arrived at the seminar room early. After setting up the altar, Master Jim and i walked around the perimeter of the room together, claiming the space and naming it sacred. By the time we completed those preparations, people were beginning to enter the room and it was time to begin. Master Jim and i were deeply touched to see how many people we knew had come to support us.

The first 45 minutes or so were spent in talking about basic cutting techniques and why ritual and ceremony are important in this Master/slave relationship. Then Master Jim reminded everyone that they were under no obligation to stay if they were not comfortable witnessing the upcoming ceremony. No one chose to leave. Master Jim then asked His man in service, ryan, to step outside and “stand vigil,” guarding the space.

And so we began the ceremony.

Master Jim stated the purpose of the ceremony: that it was intended to provide a way for me to acknowledge and release my fears, that i might know my place in His household. He called on the leather gods and the spirits of leathermen and leatherwomen who have gone before us for strength and help in the ceremony. i echoed His purpose, and called for help from the spirits of the slaves who have served before me and i called on the God who loves me, in the form of Ganesha. (In the Hindu tradition, Ganesha is the remover of obstacles and god of new beginnings.)

Then Master Jim ordered me to read my fears, aloud, to those in attendance. That was hard. Very hard.

When i finished, Master Jim took the paper onto which i had placed my fears and tore it into strips. Together, we burned the fears in a silver bowl that held sand from a place sacred to our leather family, the Chapel at Chimayo in New Mexico. As i watched the paper burn, i poured into that flame my fears, my tears, my anger and my shame at my failure to serve.

When the paper was nothing but ash, i reached into the bowl and crushed the ash into the sand. Master Jim then invited those who were bearing witness to join in the ceremony. He invited them to come forward and take some of the sand and ash mixture… to bear some of my fear. He asked them to take that fear away and to do with it as seemed right and proper to them.

One by one, the people in that room came to me at the altar. i handed each one a small envelope filled with the sand as I said to them, “Here are my fears.” One by one, the people in that room took my fears away, bit by bit.

To each of you who freely chose to bear a part of my burden, thank you. As a slave, i have nothing i can give you -- but know that you have my deepest gratitude.

When that was done, Master Jim said a few closing words and thanked everyone for their support. i don’t know about anyone else present, but in that moment, Master Jim and i truly felt the sacredness of that space. Quietly, people began to leave.

Master Jim then asked ryan to come back into the room. He and i hugged and then, together, we knelt before Master Jim.

The fear was gone.

************
Since that day, a number of people have let Master Jim or me know what they did with the sand i handed to them at the altar. Some of it has been scattered in the mountains of New Mexico, the spiritual land that calls so strongly to Master Jim. Some of it was scattered in the Garden of the Gods in Colorado, a place of sacred beauty. Some of it was placed in a private garden, where people Master Jim and I care for deeply celebrate Mastery and slavery every day. Some of it has been used to help grow and nurture a beautiful plant tended by one with a heart for service. Some of it has become the centerpiece of a personal altar, a daily reminder that from fear, we can find growth.


--slave marsha

:: 10:20 AM [+] ::
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