:: Edgeliving: Master Jim and slave marsha ::

:: Wednesday, June 09, 2004 ::

Taking Out My Hammer and Nails... Fixing the Trapdoor


“Getting out a hammer and grabbing a handful of nails. Finding a tall ladder, climbing up and beginning to nail the trapdoor shut.”

Ah, if it were only that easy, if we Owners could nail the trapdoor firmly shut so that it would never open again. Unfortunately, we cannot do that and the trapdoors that cause problems for Masters and slaves will remain precariously balanced on their tripwires, ready to spring open, often when least expected.

As slave marsha says below… “It [the trapdoor] could be a word from your Owner that he or she is displeased with you. Maybe you are given an order to do something very difficult that you never thought you’d have to do. Or suddenly it seems as though everyone else is having fun while you only work. Perhaps you realize you feel completely alone, as though no one understands or supports you. Or perhaps your Owner, who also is very human, breaks a promise he or she made to you.” If these trapdoors cannot be permanently nailed shut, what can be done to avoid a slave tumbling and spinning into the dark emptiness that awaits?

It is easier to answer that question by first saying what should not be done. Sometimes the trapdoor opens as a result of an Owner doing something that proves difficult for a slave, something the slave has been unable to absorb and make right with his or her slave heart. In that situation, in my opinion, the Owner cannot and should not say, “If that is difficult for you, I promise I will not do it again.” In other words, the Owner should not remove the reason that particular trapdoor opened. While such an action might alleviate the slave’s concern for that particular problem, what actually occurs is the slave assumes control. And even if that control is unobtrusive, it likely will result in far more serious difficulties down the road.

Of course, if slaves were robots then we might get to a place where all of the Owner’s actions were accepted with a smile and simple “Yes, Sir!” If that were the case, then there would be no problem with trapdoors. But slaves are not robots, and I do not wish to own a robot slave. Instead, slaves are human and will continue to have human reactions to difficult situations. Tasks or orders from Owners might stretch a slave to the limit, and it is perfectly understandable that the slave may experience hurt, disappointment, and even anger in such instances. These are human emotions and I do not think they can be totally eliminated.

But while these very human emotions may not be eliminated, an attempt can, and should, be made to control them. It is in this realm of emotional control that I believe trapdoors can be at least partially closed, and the fall through those that remain can be cushioned.

In her post, slave marsha speaks of being “centered.” Centeredness is what will help close some trapdoors and will ease the fall through others. But what does it mean to be centered? To me, it means:

· knowing you are slave and accepting who you are;
· embracing the philosophy for the M/s relationship under which you live;
· knowing that your Master’s control governs your life;
· accepting that obedience is of primary importance;

And perhaps most important;

· realizing that while the principle of ethical ownership will not protect you from pain, it will protect you from harm.

How does a slave reach this place of being centered, where he or she knows, accepts and embraces what it means to be a slave? I believe each slave must find a “key” that unlocks that knowledge and acceptance in his or her heart. But what is that key? Unfortunately, I cannot tell you what the key is or where it find it. The key will be different for each person, and the search for the key is a personal quest.

It is that key slave marsha is seeking for herself, with my assistance.

In leather,
Master Jim

:: 12:07 PM [+] ::
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