:: Edgeliving: Master Jim and slave marsha ::

:: Sunday, November 09, 2003 ::

The Arena

It should be obvious to regular readers of this website that I believe the path of Mastery and slavery is long and hard. Those just beginning the journey may soon be discouraged, while those well along the path will continue to confront problems and difficulties, any one of which could destroy that which has been built. I have seen individuals who met at a leather event or through a leather club attempt an M/s relationship, but soon go their separate ways. I know of two men who ended a 15 year relationship because one wanted to enter an M/s relationship and the other did not. I have seen several long-term marriages end because the two partners agreed to transform their marriage into an M/s relationship, but one of the partners was unable to successfully become a Master or a slave.

Why then in the name of the leather gods should people even try to walk this path? Why should anyone risk ending a relationship before it has a chance to grow? Why would anyone risk an established relationship for the sake of the unknown?

The answer is simple: many should not.

The reality is that too often individuals begin a Master/slave relationship with no thought as to what that relationship means. They have done nothing to examine where they want to go, much less how they hope to get there. They have not done any of the hard internal work necessary to successfully walk the M/s path.

But what about those who do lay a foundation, those who really have done an honest assessment of what they want and even have some idea of how they plan to go about achieving their goals? Unfortunately, even then, there is no guarantee of success. In fact, the failure rate for Master/slave relationships is much higher than the rate of success. Common sense then says go with the odds, become SM play partners, remain in your committed relationship, stay in your marriage -- whatever you do, do not risk all you have or might have on the uncertainty of an M/s relationship.

No, there are no guarantees, nothing to assure you of becoming a successful Master or slave, no refunds to be had if a fledgling or long-term M/s relationship fails, nothing to ease the bitter pain of losing a Master or a slave. Given these harsh realities, some might say let’s take the conservative path, let’s nail the M/s door shut, seal it off, advise everyone that it is too difficult, too dangerous. If we nail that door shut then we can make sure that no one will get a glimpse of the wonder, the possibilities, the fulfillment, the pleasure, the thrill, and yes, the rapture that may be touched on the M/s path. We’ll make sure that individuals do not risk what they have to find out who they are. After all, why risk failure even if it means not becoming who and what you were meant to be?

I hope you know that is not what I think we should do.

Not only did I not nail my personal door shut, I will not nail anyone else’s door shut. Despite the difficulties, despite the distinct possibility of failure, despite the potential loss of a lifetime of gain, I believe that those who believe they are Masters and slaves must begin the journey, they must walk the M/s path, they must try, even if they fail. In the words of the late President, John F. Kennedy:


“The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best, if he wins, knows the thrills of high achievement, and, if he fails, at least fails daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

At the end of the day, whatever happens to me as I walk this Master/slave path, I will know this: at least I dared to enter the arena.

In leather,
Master Jim

:: 9:00 PM [+] ::
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