:: Edgeliving: Master Jim and slave marsha ::

:: Thursday, October 02, 2003 ::

On Being slave marsha

“Be the slave.”

Master Jim says that’s the answer. And as He also often says, it’s as simple and as complex as that.

“Be the slave.”

i am a slave. From time to time, someone decides to argue the point with me, on the grounds that slavery is illegal in the U.S., or that the law wouldn’t bring me back to Master Jim if i chose to walk away. Of course i know that both of those things are true – i’m not delusional. But i also know that i don’t look to the law to define every aspect of my reality.

So why don’t I always feel like a slave? And does it matter?

i was raised in the Southern Baptist Church. (For anyone reading this who was or is Southern Baptist, i bet we now have a very good understanding of each other’s mindset. In some ways, once a Southern Baptist, always a Southern Baptist.) For those of you who aren’t familiar with the denomination, the core principle is that you need to have a personal relationship with Christ – you need to be “saved.” With salvation comes a fundamental change in who you are. From that point on, your life is (or should be) devoted to Christ.

Nearly everyone in my church youth group professed to be “saved.” Most of us had been coming to church since we were in diapers – how could we be otherwise? Nevertheless, i remember well hearing the members of my youth group say, from time to time, that they didn’t feel like a Christian. Such a statement was tantamount to a confession of being “backslidden” – not a good thing in a Southern Baptist church -- and necessitated the immediate formation of a prayer circle. Always, there was much debate over whether such a feeling simply meant the backslider needed to recommit his or her life to Christ or whether it might indicate that he or she never really was “saved” in the first place.

One hot summer, after a number of the youth group suffered from this malady (putting more than a little strain on the prayer chain), our youth group leader decided he needed to address this whole issue of our “feelings.” He told us that our “feelings” were just that – feelings, and not reality. As Christians, we would continue to experience the whole range of human feelings – including doubt about who and what we were. And if we had accepted Christ, not one of those feelings would change the fact that we were saved. Then he suggested we all go out for ice cream. (Which, of course, soothes a multitude of feelings when you’re a teenager.)

What does this have to do with slavery? i think it’s this -- some days, i feel like a slave and some days… i don’t. It doesn’t change the reality that i’ve chosen to turn over control of my life to Master Jim and that i’ve promised to obey and serve Him. It may make it more difficult for me to obey and serve with the right heart when i don’t feel my slavery, but it doesn’t negate my reality.

And now, for my own confession. Today, right this minute, i don’t feel much like a slave. i hate this feeling.

The feeling will pass. It always does. i’ll try to find some time in the day to examine why I feel this way because understanding the “why” always helps me with the “what to do.” Maybe I’ll make an extra effort to look for opportunities to serve Master Jim today –i’ve found that when i have this feeling, if i make myself act like a slave, i often suddenly realize that once again, i have found my slave identity. Master Jim and i are presenting at an event this weekend, and being around others in the community helps the feeling to pass. Most of all, Master Jim always helps me, by talking with me, by having me kneel, and most of all, simply by being there. By being my Owner and demonstrating it in everything He does.

But for right now… i don’t feel like a slave. Yet i know i am.

i will be the slave.

--slave marsha

:: 2:33 PM [+] ::
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