:: Edgeliving: Master Jim and slave marsha ::

:: Thursday, August 31, 2006 ::

Is your heart right?

I received an email from a slave who asked:

“i am curious if you would share you philosophy on how you handle situations where slave marsha isn't necessarily in the right "headspace" as i call it. As relationships evolve, slavery deepens, there are times when the slave isn't doing well, whether it is reacting in fear, or other issues that affect the focus and direction of the slave.”


What the slave in the email refers to as headspace, I call "having the right heart." If I give slave marsha a directive or observe her in some interaction and feel that she is having some difficulty, I will often put my hand on her chest over her heart and ask..."Is your heart right?" The meaning is simple: are you acting from the place of obedience and are you doing so because you want to not because you have to as a slave.

No matter how long a Master/slave relationship exists or how deep it goes there will be times when the slave does not have the right heart or, if you prefer, is not in the appropriate headspace. Instances of not having the right heart may be isolated and short-term, or they may be prolonged. As to what I do, as always, it depends on the situation.

If it is an isolated case where slave marsha simply might be overburdened at work, not feeling well, or is distracted in some way, it may be a matter of more focus on the part of the slave and a simple reminder might be all that is needed.
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On the other hand, if the matter is more serious and has resulted in an extended period of her heart not being right, then more work is necessary in order to find out the nature and extent of the problem. Is she reacting in part from fear? Has she lost a degree of trust? Is she angry, hurt, feeling lost?

Once the reason for her heart not being right is identified, the next step is to find out the cause of the feelings? Many times, after the slave tells you what the problem is, the cause is self-evident. The master/owner might have been going through a difficult period and have been distracted for an extended period. He may immediately realize this after talking with the slave. At other times, the cause may not be as evident. At those times I will often go back to my philosophy or code of ethics to see if they point the way to the cause of the problem. For example, one element of my philosophy is providing direction for the relationship. If slave marsha is feeling lost it may be because I have not been providing the needed direction.

After the problem is recognized and the cause is identified, then the situation can be addressed. If we are dealing with the slave’s heart not being right as a result of behavior or actions of the slave, a corrective action that serves to remind the slave to pay attention to her heart over a period of time might be needed. On the other hand, if the cause relates to the master’s behavior, he may have to right himself and, using the example from above, reestablish direction, before the slave can begin getting a “right heart.”

As with all Master/slave issues, there is no blueprint for action or a canned response that works in all cases. Whatever is done, the keys are communication, investigation, assessment, and application. Equally important is the recognition that losing the right heart or headspace does not mean a person is a bad slave. These are natural occurrences that must be dealt with as part of the Master/slave journey.

In leather,

Master Jim

:: 3:37 PM [+] ::
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