:: Edgeliving: Master Jim and slave marsha ::

:: Wednesday, July 30, 2003 ::

Running...

i want to be a racehorse.

i'll admit, it's an odd statement. You can't imagine a human less like a racehorse than me -- i'm not tall, slender, sleek or fast. i'm a 40 year old woman, my knees creak sometimes when i kneel, and my body is emphatically not made for running.

But i want to be a racehorse.

Last weekend, i picked up the book "Seabiscuit" by Laura Hillenbrand. Master Jim enjoys horse racing, and i thought i'd see if the book or the movie might be of interest to Him. In the past, He has likened owning a slave to owning a racehorse. i never paid much attention to the analogy.

But a passage in the book caught my eye. In describing a thoroughbred racehorse, the author writes, "His mind is impressed with a single command: run. He pursues speed with superlative courage, pushing beyond defeat, beyond exhaustion, sometimes beyond the structural limits of bone and sinew."

In a flash, i understood Master Jim's analogy. In the quote, replace the word "run" with "obey" and "speed" with "obedience."

That is what Master Jim wants in His slave. The courage and strength to pursue the single most important command in my life: obey.

When a jockey needs a racehorse to give him more speed in the home stretch of a race, he is said to "ask the question" of his horse. The horse, if it responds with a burst of speed, is said to "answer." The great racehorses, horses with the heart of Seabiscuit or Seattle Slew, give their jockeys everything they have -- and when they are "asked the question" in the home stretch... somehow, some way, they find more to give.

They run. Beyond defeat. Beyond exhaustion. Because it is what they are meant to do.

"Obey me in this, marsha," He says. And then... "I want more. I want all of you."

Every day, He "asks the question."

i want to have the courage and the strength to "answer the question" every time. Beyond defeat. Beyond exhaustion.

Some days... i can almost see the finish line. And so i run.

--slave marsha

:: 10:58 AM [+] ::
...

Master Jim says....

i've just posted the text from Master Jim's keynote address this weekend at The Masters' Retreat. You'll find it to the left of the page, with the other links.

He and i hope it gives food for thought....

--slave marsha

:: 8:38 PM [+] ::
...

Where does the time go....

So, Master Jim and i returned home from Thunder in the Mountains, only to find a whole new set of demands on His time. (And therein lies another topic for the blog -- maintaining a Master/slave relationship when things are pulling you in a million directions.) Thunder was a great event, as usual. Master Jim and i presented a 5 hour seminar there called "The Journey 2003: Exploring New Paths." The people who attended it were a joy. They weren't afraid to ask us the hard questions, and when that happens, i know real communication is happening. Based on the comments Master Jim and i received, the attendees found something worthwhile in the seminar to take home with them. That's what makes these leather weekends special for Master Jim and for me.

Master Jim hopes to write something substantive for the blog in the next week. We have separate speaking engagements this weekend, but when He decides it's "Blog Time," very little stands in His way. Stay tuned.

--slave marsha

:: 10:43 PM [+] ::
...

Got rules? Yes, Master Jim’s Golden Rule - Obey

I cannot count the times that slave marsha has asked me after I have given her a directive… is that a rule, Sir? My most common response is: No, that is not a rule, I have simply given you an order that I wish carried out. I may want you to respond differently next time. Those “101 slave rules” -- actually, if slaves had their way there would be 1001 rules -- do not exist for me. Without question, specific rules that guide behavior and actions would make life simpler for the slave. They would provide a behavioral blueprint that would permit the slave to always, or at least most of the time, be in compliance with the wishes of the Owner. While it is not my purpose to make obedience difficult for my slave or to create situations where she will often fail, neither is it my purpose to make life as easy for her as possible.

I don’t like a lot of rules. They box me in, reduce my flexibility, and push me toward being a micro-manager. I detest micro-management both in my M/s and professional lives. I have elected to structure my Master/slave relationship around one simple concept -- you might call it Master Jim’s Golden Rule. That rule is simply … Obey. In order to obey, unless otherwise instructed, slave marsha always has to be available for service.

As a supplement to the Golden Rule, I do have certain behavioral rules that slave marsha follows pertaining to her daily life and how she is to serve me, but those rules are not excessive. Furthermore, those rules can be, and are, changed from time to time. So if I am not enamored with rules, what do I have? Instead of having a rule-based M/s relationship, I have one that is concept-based. In addition to obedience, some of the concepts that guide my M/s relationship are control, ethical ownership, responsibility, protocol, and internalization. These and other concepts combine with my philosophy of direction, discipline, and service to provide the framework for a dynamic, growing, and ever-changing M/s relationship.

So, there is no do-not-use-the-cell-phone-in-the-baggage-claim-area rule. If there was such a rule, there would also have to be a do-use-the-cell-phone- or always-ask-permission-to-use-the-cell-phone rule. One can see how quickly and exponentially these rules would multiply and not only would I have to identify the rules, I would have to remember them all in order to enforce them. Instead, I have a slave who will from time-to-time be unsuccessful in her service, not because she is breaking a rule, but because she is not available to serve.

As slave marsha said, “slavery isn’t about following rules.” And I will say that Mastery is not about making and enforcing rules. Both Mastery and slavery are about internalizing who and what you are in order to become one with your Mastery or your slavery. If both can accomplish that internalization, then the Master will control and the slave will obey.

It is as simple and as complex as that.

In leather,
Master Jim

:: 5:26 PM [+] ::
...

Got rules?

Slaves, by and large, love rules. For some of us, the more the better. Why is that? i think it’s because we believe rules make it easier on us. i know I think rules make being a slave easier on me.

For many people, the idea that rules might make life easier seems absurd. Those of us in the Western Hemisphere live in a society that in many ways, urges us to do what we want, to break the rules, to be independent. (We also get the mixed message that we need to conform, buckle down and follow the crowd, but that’s a topic for another day.) As a slave, however, my greatest goal is to obey my Owner – and it’s a hell of a lot easier to do that if i have rules. Nice, clear, specific rules. If i do this, i have obeyed. If i do that, i haven’t obeyed. Simple. Give me that list of “101 slave rules” and i’m good to go.

my Owner, of course, feels differently.

i think my Owner is not unusual in this. He is much more of a “high level” thinker. He would rather establish broad operating principles than specific rules. That gives Him more flexibility in ordering His life and my service. And, more importantly, He doesn’t have to remember the “101 slave rules.”

Let me give you an example of what i’m talking about. my Owner and i were traveling a couple of weeks ago. We got off of the plane and proceeded to baggage claim. As we walked along, i whipped out a cell phone and started checking messages. Just then, Master Jim looked over at me and asked, “Where is the car rental pick up area?” i was completely distracted by that cell phone (desperately hoping that some hot butch had finally decided to call and ask me out) and replied – sounding just as distracted as i felt -- “i don’t know, Sir.”

Wrong answer.

Master Jim turned to me and in His inimitable way, conveyed His displeasure at the lack of service from me. In turn, i put on my best “This-isn’t-fair-there’s-no-rule-about-this-i’m-trying-so-hard-why-are-You-so-mean-to-me” look. Later, when the crisis moment had passed, i asked Him if there was a new rule about cell phones. No turning on the cell phone without permission? No, that isn’t the rule, He says. No doing anything when we’re going to baggage claim, i ask? No, that isn’t the rule, either, He says. Well, what is it, i ask.

He says, “Always be available to me to serve.”

Always be available to Him to serve. That’s much harder than following some nice, clear cell phone rule. That means having to think, to anticipate, to evaluate, to prioritize, to assess, to plan. That means realizing at times, no matter how hard i try, i’m going to break the “rule.”

In my heart, i do understand His point. For Him, and for me, slavery really isn’t about following rules. Almost anyone can be forced to obey a set of rules, given enough time and enough force. Consensual slavery isn’t about that. The slavery that i live is about making His will, my will. And so, slavery is about something bigger – and more difficult -- than just following the rules

But some days… i sure would like those “101 slave rules.”

(And no, the butch hadn't called.)

--slave marsha

:: 2:06 PM [+] ::
...

As promised...

When Master Jim and i began this blog, He and i said that it would be, at best, semi-regular. Well, we're sure keeping that promise.

It's been a busy few weeks, and only getting more so, since He and i are presenting at Thunder in the Mountains this coming weekend. However, i do know what i'd like to write about next, and i hope to have a new post up in the next few days.

For anyone out there who's reading this blog... thanks.

--slave marsha

:: 5:02 PM [+] ::
...